Who are you?

POST #4

“We create words to define our experience and those words bring attendant emotions that jerk us around like dogs on a leash. We get seduced by our own mantras (I’m a failure…I’m lonely…I’m a failure…I’m lonely…) and we become monuments to them. To stop talking for a while, then, is to attempt to strip away the power of words, to stop choking ourselves with words, to liberate ourselves from our suffocating mantras.”

Elizabeth Gilbert. Eat Pray Love. 2006.

Every day I log on to Facebook and I will see the regular ‘Why can’t I find a nice man?’ and ‘I’m so depressed and lonely’ statuses. These kinds of statements really bother me. For a small second I almost consider clicking on these “friends” and deleting them, but then I would have nothing to get angry and write about ha-ha!

·         Why is it that people think that their lives mean nothing if they’re single?

·         What is the obsession with people being so depressed because they are “alone”?

·         Why do people believe that they can only be happy if they are sharing their life with someone else?

What people don’t realise is that the only person that can make you happy is YOU. The reason why you are so unhappy is not because you don’t have a partner to share your issues with, it’s because you have issues in the first place. Finding someone will not dissipate your problems. Yes, the new love will be a beautiful distraction for a little while, but it will not make your issues disappear. Eventually, your issues will rise to the surface and break you right in front of your partners’ eyes or entirely shock you and make you realise that you're in the wrong place.

How are you supposed to be happy with someone and make someone else happy if you’re not actually happy yourself?

Did you ever think that being “alone” could actually be good for you sometimes?

You are not ready to fall in love until you love yourself. Seriously, not like actually be in love with yourself, that’s just crazy. However, appreciate yourself, enjoy your own company, explore your imagination, your identity. Figure out you. Read some books, watch some good films, learn to cook, and learn to enjoy your own life just because you bloody can. Try everything. Resolve your issues alone. Work hard, find your career, and figure out what future you want. Not just “I want a man/woman to love” and that’s it, because that’s really just not it!!

You’ll meet the right person when you meet the right you and that person will never expect you to be anyone else and will never ask you to be different.

Once you’ve embraced yourself fully and once you are comfortable to be exactly yourself, with no excuses, no lies, and no pretences, just you -with every single person you ever meet. That is when you can be happy with someone else, or start looking for someone.

You never know though, when you find you, you might not ‘need’ anyone else. That’s the whole point. Never lose your independence; never feel like you need someone else - because you don’t.
You'll know when it's right anyway....